One of many commercials that repeats itself in my head throughout the day.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Do you have any coupons?
One of my favorite things to quote, besides stupid commercial jingles and Forrest Gump, is the self check-out computerized lady voice at Kroger and Wal-Mart.
"Welcome Kroger Plus Member!"
"Please scan your first item and place it in the bag."
I repeat, "Place your item in the bag."
"Please wait for assistance."
"Do you have any coupons?"
"Insert cash or select payment type."
Woody hates it when I talk back to her, mimicking her computerized voice. The lady voice and I have practically become BFF. She knows I have coupons so why does she always ask? She should know by now that I am a coupon freak! Self check-out lady and I have a love / hate relationship and sometimes I don't feel like putting up with her attitude.
Yesterday, I called in at work with back pain. I've diagnosed the pain as a pinched nerve that is affecting my whole left arm, my neck, my shoulders, my spine, and my head. After boredom with day-time television set in, I decided to make the trip to Wal-Mart for some Icy Hot and a few other household items. With coupons in hand and a wobbly buggy, I carefully picked out the items that matched the coupon. Nearly 25 items later, I proceeded to checkout. Being somewhat in pain, I decided to go to a real cashier instead of computerized self check-out lady. The cashier bagged all of my items as I handed her $17 worth of coupons. That's right, you heard me, $17 worth. The cashier then got all flustered and voided my entire order to start all over again in an attempt to make sure I had the correct items and that my coupons were not expired. As if! I would like to apologize to the self check-out computerized lady voice for my betrayal and to thank her for trusting my judgement in products and respective coupons. I'm sorry ; (
Thursday, February 12, 2009
The "Us" Factor
Nestled in the Smokies with 70 other couples, Woody and I took part in a Marriage Retreat with our fabulous church at the end of January. Now when I say "marriage retreat" people look at me like there is something we are not telling them and that Woody and I are going to work on things. That's not it at all! In fact, three wonderful days were filled with sessions on deepening our marriage relationship with one other and strengthening our spiritual life together. The speaker was very dynamic and focused the sessions around different "vantage points" of marriage. What if the ultimate purpose of marriage is not to make you love your spouse more, but what if it is to give you an environment to learn to love God more? What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy as we compliment one another in unity?
We also uncovered some of "His" needs versus "Her" needs and touched on the 5 Love Languages, an excellent book to learn more about how your partner likes to give and receive love. The 5 languages come in the form of: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
Her Needs: Affection, Conversation, Honesty & Openness, Financial Security, and Family Support.
His Needs: Sexual Fulfillment, Recreational Companionship, Attractive Spouse, A Peaceful Home, and Admiration.
Interesting huh?
In addition to devoting time to the "us" factor, we also met many wonderful people that also go to our church and bonded even more with folks from our Sunday School class.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Snow Day
It has been snowing, raining and freezing since Monday night here in Lexington. For the first time in years my office is closed and I feel like a kid again with a snow day. Amber, a friend since childhood, is snowed in with me and it has been such a joy having her here. She is in her last year of pharmacy school at UK and doing a rotation in Lexington at a diabetes clinic. Her car has pretty much been coated with ice and snow over and over again and her tire remains frozen to the curb. We tried to move it into the garage this morning but quickly gave up. Below is a picture of our house this morning just as another blanket of snow was falling. Our little tree in the front yard is weighed down with ice and I woke up this morning to the sound of large branches breaking and falling in our back yard. As you can see, the grill is frozen and Woody forgot to put the cover over it again after it was used last. It's hard to believe we (Woody) will be cooking burgers, hot dogs, chicken and steaks on it in just a few months. Mmmmm....
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The Bachelor
Since the inaugural season of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, I've been a loyal fan. Not only do I love the shows for their entertainment value, but they are a constant reminder of the blessing in my life I like to refer to as Woody. As I listen to the lonely hearts and and the dreams of all the wishful women that hope to land the attention, love, and possibility of proposal from The Bachelor, I realize that I too had some of those same feelings being single. There is something missing inside. Something you long and yearn for but seem to look in all the wrong places.
The days of middle school crushes, high school flings, college relationships and adventures made me the person I am today. I don't regret for a second past relationships of any sort. Whether they were merely friendships or romantic relationships, I quickly learned the characteristics I wanted, or the ones I wasn't necessarily looking for, in a relationship. Was I looking for a husband in particular to alleviate my need for stability and security? No. Did I find someone I fell in love with and couldn't imagine a day living without? Yes! God blessed the broken road that led me straight to Woody. Our timing was perfect for finding each other. Without the experiences and trials before meeting Woody, I wouldn't appreciate loyalty, trust, complete love and devotion, friendship, and all the other things I love about him and our life together. Woody is my best friend, my hero, and my soul mate. It says so on his wedding band.
My advice to those with a missing piece in their lives:
1. Praise the Lord for all the blessings in your life no matter how small or insignificant they may seem.
2. Make a list of the things you are looking for.
3. Make a list of the things you are definitely not looking for.
4. Get involved at church, at school/work, and in the community.
5. Be yourself! Compete love and devotion comes from someone who loves you for you.
6. Don't apply to be on The Bachelor because your "eggs are rotting".
7. Patience is a virtue. The lessons learned and the wait are all worth it for Mr. or Mrs. Right.
8. Learn as much as you can about yourself.
9. Ask the Lord that you may find happiness and fulfillment and to bless you when the timing is no less than perfect.
10. Ask my friends who have followed this advice. The results may surprise you.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Free Fallin'
Yes we did it. Woody's family talked us in to jumping out of a "perfectly good airplane" at 14,000 ft (approximately 2.5 vertical miles). This is past the point in commercial airliners when the flight attendant informs passengers that they can now operate electronic devices. The jump consisted of a 9,000 ft free fall in about 60 seconds and an excruciating ascent in a plane, with no seats, to our "final destination". There were about 15 jumpers in our group packed in a small plane like sardines. Most were single jumpers, some military, and three tandem jumpers with thier instructors. Woody and I each had a photographer/videographer and were forced to become instant best friends with a perfect stranger whom we were strapped to, very tightly, at the shoulders and hips from behind. I chose Bob becasue he looked as if he would cushion my fall should we encounter a crash landing. Woody didn't have a choice. The jockey-sized instructor always got the big guys to even out the weight for the parachute.
Instructors: "Who get's Tiny? Aren't you late for your NBA game Dude?"
Woody: LOL
Instructors: "How tall are you?"
Woody: "6ft 6in"
Jockey: "I'll take him!"
I drilled Bob with questions hoping to have a bonding experience before "risking my life for a thrill" as the instruction video put it.
Me: "How many times have you done this, hundreds?"
Bob: "Thousands."
Me: "Have you ever been hurt?"
Bob: "Never."
Me: "Have you every had anyone pass out on you during the free fall?"
Bob: "No"
Me: "Be honest!"
Bob: "Okay, only one. It was an man with a chronic illness in the last stages of his life."
Me: "Have you ever been peed on?"
Bob: "No, but are you in to that?"
As we became up close and very personal with our instructor during the ascent, we straddled the poor soul in front of us. There was no time to think, no time to back out. We walked to the door somewhat unwilling. WHOOSH! It was exhilarating yet beautiful. A little loud and windy I might add. Your mind cannot quite comprehend what you are about to put your body through. Will it be like a rollercoaster, like a dream of falling from a cliff (or out of the bed)? Neither! Words cannot express the feeling. And before you even know it, the experience is over. Would I do it again? Yes! Was it worth it? Absolutely! How much was the aerial photograpy and video? Priceless!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Bottles and Cans & Devil Ray Fans
In mid-October, I was sent to Tampa, FL to attend a Solid Waste & Recycling Summit, exciting I know. But these are the thrills and the kind of issues that I deal with when working for local governments: 33 Mayors and 17 County Judge-Executives precisely. Mom tagged along for the week and while in Tampa, we had the opportunity to spend time with long-lost cousins we had never met and visited my long-lost childhood friend Ashley. Ashley and I have known each other since birth; I litterally greeted her on the day she was born on my way out of the hospital as a newborn. It just so happened that during the Summit, games 1 and 2 of the World Series were being played at "The Trop", Tropicana Field, and the actual trophy was on display at Tampa City Hall. Too bad the Rays lost because I spent a fortune on Christmas gifts at the Tampa Bay Rays Official MLB store. And no I'm not revealing any soon-to-be Christmas gifts because Woody charmed me into giving his early. What can I say? I give in easily when hiding something. Ask my friends; I laugh hysterically when I am lying. Here are a few pics from our fabulous trip.
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